Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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