I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
