But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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