ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
