Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
