No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
