Tell her she can't have a vagina
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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