i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I fill condoms, not promises.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
