Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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