its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
