Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
