Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize
