well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
