Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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