i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
