batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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