sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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