i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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