You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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