If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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