@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
