It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
