he shaved USA in his pubs
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
