Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
