you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
