bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
