Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
