Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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