i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
