I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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