East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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