Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
