So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
