So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
