i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
3 2 1 whiskey
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
