Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
