Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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