Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
What a dumb baby whore.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
