His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
