just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
