You smell like stripper and shame
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
