can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Green mimosas i think yes
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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