Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
