i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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