Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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