Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
