I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
