Dual....:-)
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
