this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
