so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
