You can't motorboat a personality
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
