Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
